Story Time

Don’t worry, I’m still alive. Here is a picture for proof.

Zoe jokes that I always have a story to tell when talking to her. Perhaps it’s true. So, in honor of Zoe I will tell you a story. With Zoe back at school I have more alone time. When I’m alone I have a constant dialogue running through my mind. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. The one thing I’ve learned is that when I’m alone with my thoughts I can choose to invite good, positive, motivating and uplifting thoughts or I can choose to allow negative, judgemental, false and biased thoughts.

I’ve also learned I can be an overthinker and complicate or create problems. After many years of therapy, study, practice and desire to change I’ve learned that I can choose what I think and feel. When I’m having a bad moment or day I can allow it to consume me and create misery for the rest of my day, week or even longer. Then I remember that I have power and control over my mind and emotions. I can’t always choose what happens, but I can always choose how I respond to it.

After my transplant I had to limit my interaction with others to protect my new organs and avoid illness because my immune system is suppressed. Plus I was still recovering from my stroke and more seizures. Almost 2 years post transplant I was ready to start socializing. I planned my first lunch date with friends and looked forward to many more. Then, Covid-19 decided to enter our world. I was not impressed, but knew I could handle it because I had basically been isolating for the past 2 years. As the months and then first year went by frustration and negativity set in. I found things here and there to entertain myself and family, but I was not emotionally and mentally functioning well. After several months I realized I had allowed myself to get into this dark place and my quality of life was being negatively affected. I decided to pull out some of my old self-help books, journals and started looking for the good around me. It takes work to change my thought processes, but I was tired of the way I was feeling and knew it was time to put in some hard work. As I made changes I started noticing how I felt and how I spoke with others. It was joyful and I was happy.

Even though I’ve been vaccinated, I still need to isolate because I’m susceptible to the other variants. My lungs and heart may not be strong enough to be sick, especially a lung infection. I didn’t go through my transplant and stroke to die from the Covid-19. I went through it so I can spend more time with my husband and daughter.

I guess, the moral of my story is that I can’t control Covid-19 or other’s choices, but I can do my part, choose to live my life the best I know how, protect myself, family and others, serve others, be kind, and show gratitude to my loving Heavenly Father. As I’ve quoted my mother before, “Jesus said, “It came to pass, not it came to stay .”” I look forward to the days when I get to eat at a restaurant and gather with friends and family.