Progress

When Levi and I were first married he told me that in the preexistence I must have stood too long in the leg line that I missed out on all the good hearts. Well my legs are still long and I got a new heart, but we've been needing to have a few motivational chats this past week with my new ticker. Since I was struggling with the sound of helicopters and hospital stays my heart decided it would take the opportunity to go into right bundle branch block which required an ER and overnight hospital visit to diagnose that, so nothing like unofficial immersion therapy to help treat some fear and anxiety. Many tears were shed as I was admitted to the ER and again to my hospital room. Nothing like going right back to the source of your anxiety and trauma to help you deal with things. Luckily, it's not a major concern and I am back home sporting a heart monitor for 30 days.

I was asked to lead a Relief Society lesson at church. I was really nervous and excited for a few reasons. I love my ward and the amazing sisters, but I was also excited to practice speaking in front of others. I’ve received speech and occupational therapies to relearn communication and problem solving skills. With the help from the Holy Ghost I was able to prepare a lesson and lead a discussion. I even had a moment or two when I struggled because of my aphasia, but I did it. I’m proud of myself for doing something uncomfortable and challenging. Here’s to more opportunities. I’m here to learn, grow and make mistakes. Shortly after my transplant, when I attended my first outpatient speech therapy appointment at Stanford I was asked to name 3 fruits in 1 minute. I was unable to name 1. So being able to speak in front of of a big group was a HUGE accomplishment for me.

Speaking of Aphasia. I found a workbook that was highly recommended by one of my Facebook stroke support groups, I am now assigning myself homework in hopes to continue making progress with my speech and short term memory loss. Never hurts, right?

Now speaking of progress, I’ve continued working with this gorgeous lady, Karli. She has helped me strengthen my right leg enough to do something I haven’t done in over a year and a half. I can balance on my right leg. I know it is something so small, but in the stroke world it is HUGE. I can also walk in heels and wedges. I am so happy.

I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father who knows me so well that he pushes me out of my comfort zone and when I want to cry, "life is unfair," he provides opportunities for me to see hope, goodness and progress wether it is big or small. I love learning and growing. I hate the pain and suffering that sometimes accompanies it, but the reward is worth it.