Today is the day

For a long time after my transplant and stroke I became discouraged often over little things. Okay, maybe not all of them were little, but there were a lot of times I became discouraged. I would see others doing all the fun things I had planned for when I received my new pump and airbags. It was heartbreaking to loose another dream. The only updates or "fun" activities I was doing was seeing another type of specialist. Who knew there were so many different specialities and that one person would need so many.

I met with my UofU neurologist last week and looked at my brain MRI. If you look at the MRI pictures posted below, you will see the dark spots. Those my friends are what brain damage looks like. My brain will never heal those holes, but my brain can do amazing things and sort of rewire itself. It will take years, but my brain will make new connections. I am thankful for that. I have made amazing progress in this last year. The doctors still look at me with a shocked look and say they do not have answers for me because they have never worked with anyone with my "complicated history". I guess I'll continue to be my own unique person.

Have you ever had a change of heart after transplant? This makes me laugh and it's true on so many levels. Since my transplant my views on things have changed. I wanted to run a marathon because I never could. I became discouraged because this is still something I may not be able to do because of my stroke. So I decided I will become like a GPS and recalculate my path and head in a new direction. Today is the day. Instead of running a marathon I'm going to take up another hobby that was never an option before. I woke up 3 weeks ago and told Levi I wanted to try hiking. I could never do that because just driving up to the higher altitude gave me a migraine. Not knowing if the altitude would be a concern, we packed some snacks, water, and headed for the hills.

We discovered the first trail we hiked was a hard trail. Oops! However, I did hike 2 miles that day. 1 straight up and 1 straight down. I did not make it to the end of the trail, but I hiked.

I wanted to try again, so 2 weeks later we found an easier trail and headed for the hills again. As I started hiking uphill I thought to myself, "Why am I doing this? Do I really enjoy it? This is really hard." Then I got to the top and was greeted by a beautiful waterfall. I stood in awe staring at the view and thought, "this would never have been possible without my donor". As we headed down the mountain I was on a natural high and couldn't wait for my next hike.

Hiking reminds me of this last year. It started out very hopeful then I hit the hills. It was a difficult uphill climb with bumps and turns, but as I stuck to it the reward was more than worth it.

I may not be running a marathon, but I am doing things I never thought I could. I love this quote by Trent Shelton, "We're all a little broken, but last time I checked, broken crayons still color". I will continue to color, even if its outside the lines.

I will never doubt that God has gotten me through every hard moment in my life. He always sends help and not necessarily how and when I expected or wanted it. He has blessed me.