Bruised but not broken

This last week I had my heart ablation. To be honest I'm not a fan of all these procedures and sometimes I wonder if they are necessary because it seems something new shows up. The procedure was successful and I'm still in sinus rhythm. Go me! My recovery this time seems slower, but that could be from constantly feeling like I get one step closer and then two steps back. It looks like I'll be getting a small break until the first week in March when I go to Stanford for my 10 month check up. Sometimes I cannot believe its been almost 10 months then other times l think its only been 10 months? While at Stanford they will do another bronchostomy to see if I'm still in rejection.

I 'm back in speech therapy again. I have a fantastic speech therapist, Olivia. She is extremely prepared with activities and tasks for me to practice. When I tell people I go to speech therapy they usually say, "Why? You sound fine." Then I try to tell them and I say,"Um, um...I can't remember...Oh yeah, to work on my memory." It's kind of funny because I really cannot remember. I walk around the house talking out loud to help me remember what I am doing. Throughout the day you'll see me standing somewhere in the house staring. Usually after a few minutes I'll say, "Oh yeah" and go do the task I couldn't remember. It's hard for me to recall information and my short term memory is not up to par. Levi will tell me to call a friend and give them a short message. I will call that friend and say, "I'm suppose to ask you something, but I don't remember." Then I will go ask Levi. I will then return to the phone and say, "I supposed to ask you if you can me pick me up at...oh no, I don't remember. Hold on." Then I ask Levi again. After that I'm able to tell my friend what time. However, if after a few minutes I try to confirm the time with my friend, I'll say the wrong time and confuse them or ask them, "What time are you picking me up?" Thankfully, I can laugh about it and I have very understanding friends and family who are patient with me.

I'm able to read really well as long as it's inside my head, but when I read out loud I stumble over words and sometimes get them out of order. Thankfully, Zoe takes turns reading chapter books with me every night.

I'm getting faster at typing on the computer. At first I could only type with my left hand and I couldn't find the letters. Now I can type with both hands, but I still struggle with my right hand. I constantly need to make sure it's in the correct position.

Below is my latest battle wound. When I had my heart ablation, I needed an art line placed in my wrist. After 7 failed attempts in my left wrist they gave up. My wrist hurts to bend or grasp items.

When I look at my wrist the words "bruised, broken and torn for us," from the hymn, Jesus of Nazareth, Savior and King, comes to mind and I cannot imagine the pain and suffering the Savior experienced. I feel I have only experienced a tiny portion of what the Savior suffered and I am extremely grateful to my Savior for his sacrifice for me. Because of him I can be whole again and free from pain and suffering. Because of him I have the ultimate example of enduring to the end.