Progress

I have so many mixed emotions when I look at these pictures. The first picture was taken after my stroke and the second picture was taken after my transplant. These pictures are hard for me to see for several reasons. I think about the fear and concern my family felt not knowing what the outcome of these events would have on our lives. They show how vulnerable and weak my body had become. It reminds me of the pain and confusion I experienced. However, they also show how strong my body and spirit can be. Our bodies are incredible. It amazes me how much our bodies can withstand.

My view on life has changed a lot in the last 6 months. I went from being scared of dying and leaving my child motherless to being at peace and knowing that everything will be okay. My relationships with Levi and Zoe have become stronger than I ever knew was possible. For the first time in several months I feel that things are calming down and that we can resume a normal life.

I was admitted into the hospital this last week for four days because I was retaining water and it was putting pressure on my chest and making it difficult to breathe. They did a heart biopsy, heart cath, EKG and echo to rule out heart failure. Everything looked good and I was told the doctors were not concerned about lung failure either. I was given lasix and decreased my sodium intake. I feel much better now that I have the fluid off my chest. My energy level has increased and I'm feeling better than I have in weeks.

My donor and transplant have been on mind my lately. I am extremely grateful for their gift. I think about them often. I had mixed emotions after my transplant. I felt guilt, gratitude, frustration, and sorrow. I was not prepared for any of it. How can one really prepare for something like that?

I have a long road to my recovery, but I'm already seeing progress. Yesterday, I was able to vacuum a room for the first time in several months. I had to stop half way through to rest, but I'm still counting it as a win. I am excited for the opportunities I'll experience. Life is beautiful and I have so much to be thankful for.