I need your help...

I wrote this a little over a week ago, but I'm just now getting around to posting it.

Look what came in the mail. My packet from Stanford. I've been busy filling out forms and scheduling/completing appointments for a few more test results Stanford has requested.

I’m preparing for my visit to Stanford by making a list of questions I would like answered. When it comes to questions we have, I tend to focus on the tiny, less important details and Levi focuses on the bigger picture of things. I want to be completely prepared and I can’t possibly think of everything so I would love to hear some questions from friends, family, etc. Please comment on Facebook or Messager, send a text or email, or give me a call with questions that you have.

Here are a top few on my list:

• Who can ride on the life flight jet with me?

• Can I see my heart and lungs after the transplant?

• Can I get a picture with my heart and lungs? (I know I’m weird and possibly have a unhealthy attachment to my organs, but they’ve kept me alive for 37 years so far).

• Are they really going to keep my heart? I’ve already been told Stanford will keep my heart in a jar for research, etc. Just want to confirm it.

• What do I need packed in my bag?

• How long will I be in the hospital?

• What is the average wait for a transplant?

• Where will I be placed on the transplant list?

I’ve been told many times that I have a very positive attitude about everything that is going on with my health right now. I would agree for the most part. I will admit there are times I am discouraged and frustrated because I get exhausted over doing simple tasks. It’s also very possible that I complain about my pains and frustrations with close friends and family. But honestly, I feel that I have been prepared for this my whole life. As a young child I was taught about our Heavenly Father’s plan for us. That we come to earth to gain a body, learn and grow through trials and be the best person we can be. At the appropriate time we return to our Heavenly Father and live with our families forever. What a beautiful plan! In fact, when I was about 5 years old, I shared the Plan of Salvation with my doctor after attending a family member’s funeral. Every choice I’ve made (good or bad) and every trial I’ve had has prepared me.

Here are a few things I have learned:

• Write down and reread spiritual experiences when I’ve received answers to prayers, felt promptings, had my testimony strengthened and felt the Lord’s presence in my life. It took me a long time to realize that by looking back on those experiences they remind me that the Lord is there and He will help me get through hard times.

• Seek help when needed. I suffered from severe anxiety and depression and I was convinced if I could somehow control or fix my trials and fears by myself things would get easier. Boy, I was wrong. I had a serious death grip on my trials and fears. It took me a couple years with the help of a therapist to break that habit. I’ve learned to hand them over to the Lord and trust his guidance. I also learned many other skills and habits for helping me stay mentally healthy.

• Everything is a learning opportunity. Whenever I go through a hard time, I always ask myself, “What did I learn from that?” Sometimes it’s as simple as, “Don’t ever do that again.”

• Look for the good. When I spend more time looking for the good in every situation, I don’t have time to focus on the negative things.

• Use humor to cope. Sometimes all I can do is laugh and make fun of my situation. For example: While being admitted to the ER again, the nurse asked what heart defect I have. As I started listing all my defects he interrupted and said, “So you need a new pump.” I replied with, “And new airbags.” Now we just refer to the heart and lungs as my pump and airbags. Levi's good with using humor as well. From the beginning of our marriage he has always told me that in the preexistence I stood too long in the leg line that I missed out on all the good hearts.

I wouldn’t change anything in my life. I’m finally happy with the person I’m becoming. I’m proud of my earthly and spiritual progress and look forward to continue growing in both areas. I’ve been led to my amazing husband and wonderful daughter. They make my life complete.

I'm truly grateful for all the love and support my friends and family have given us. I'm also extremely grateful for the sweet children in our neighborhood who have befriended Zoe. Above is a picture of some of those friends.