We've made a decision

Sunset the evening of my dad's funeral

I’ve always believed in miracles. I wasn’t suppose to live past nine months old. My whole life I’ve been called the miracle baby by family, friends and neighbors. I’ve seen great and small miracles throughout my life. I’ve seen small miracles on a daily basis. I’ve seen Heavenly Father’s hand in many parts of my life. Sometimes I’ve thought, “why me?” Why did I get to live past my expiration date while others were not given that opportunity. I don’t have the answer for that. I’ve had several people tell me there is "a reason" I'm still here on earth, I tell them that I must have not figured out what that "reason" is because I'm still here. Because of my life experience, my belief in miracles may be different than most. I do not believe that miracles only happen when everything turns out perfect. I believe miracles happen when things turn out the way Heavenly Father has planned. I have read a conference talk titled, Has the Day of Miracles Ceased?, that has explained the way I feel perfectly. I highly recommend reading it. Check it out here.

I have felt impressed to proceed forward with the transplant. I have felt a calmness and comfort with this decision. Don’t get me wrong, there are times I am scared and nervous about the whole process, but I have not questioned my decision. I’ve been hesitant to get my hopes up about getting new organs and everything working out “perfectly.” Then I remember that everything will work out perfectly the way the Lord has planned for me and my family. When I remember to trust his plan, I feel at peace again and all my concerns disappear.

Last Friday when I arrived at the hospital to get my chest CTA the office staff told me they had me scheduled for just a chest CT. I asked them to confirm with my cardiologist because I didn’t want to have the wrong test and need to come back for a second one. I was informed that my transplant team had discussed my situation and had decided they wanted just the chest CT. I sat there thinking, “What??? I have a transplant team.” Things are starting to feel a little more real.

Levi has also received the same answer to move forward with the transplant. He has said he knows I will qualify for the transplant and believes I will get the transplant. It has been such a blessing and miracle to have Levi’s love and support throughout this whole process. Many do not know that on September 28th, Levi’s dad had a massive stroke while fishing. My heart aches for Levi as he has been torn as to where and how he can support both his father and me. That is a lot of stress and concern for one man to carry. I admire Levi’s strength and love that he has. I saw that love and strength when we started dating and knew something was different about him.

Levi and I met online. I do not recall emailing back and forth before meeting in person, but Levi does. I may have been emailing a few others at the same time. We met at Chili’s on our first date. I really enjoyed his company and we found a few things we had in common. I remember thinking he had a weird laugh. After dinner we grabbed some ice cream and he asked if I wanted to watch a movie we discussed during dinner at his house. I said yes. While at his house I became cold and asked him if he had a blanket. He said he did and then asked if I wanted to snuggle. I quickly said, “No. I’m just cold” and took the blanket.

What Levi didn’t know at the time we met was that I had just graduated from the University of Utah and was switching from two part time jobs to one full time job, while also being evaluated for a heart and double lung transplant. He called me a week or two later and asked if I could go out with him again. I told him that I was switching jobs, that I was busy and I would call him back when things slowed down. I forgot about that conversation and a few weeks went by. I called Levi and asked him if he wanted to listen to General Conference while riding up to my parent’s mountain property with a couple friends. What he later figured out is that I was trying to set him up with my friend. Fortunately, that set up was not successful. A week later I called him again and ask if he wanted to join me and several friends for games. His response caught me off guard. He said, “Are we dating or just friends? I have enough girls that are friends.” I told him that I was dating others and that we could date, but I couldn’t promise anything. Thankfully, he still joined us for game night. We started going on more dates and on Halloween, when we arrived at a party we were planning on attending we shared things we felt each other should know. I told him he should probably not get too close because I was being pre-evaluated for a transplant and I had no clue what my future looked like. Apparently, that did not scare him away and that night at the party he held my hand and after the party he asked if he could kiss me. We continued to date each other exclusively. I went home to Idaho with Levi for Thanksgiving and met his family. In January, Levi proposed. In February, I went to Stanford University to be evaluated for the transplant and after much discussion decided I was too healthy at the time and shelved the transplant. I was told to follow up with a neurologist and an ENT when I got home. By March, I was emotionally done with follow up appointments. I called and cancelled all my appointments. On Monday, March 21, 2005 I told Levi I had Friday, March 25th off from work and that we were getting married. I called around and found an opening for us to get married at the Utah County courthouse. On Wednesday, March 23rd, I asked my parents if they wanted to be our witnesses. That Friday we got married and I haven’t looked back. It was one of the best and happiest decisions I’ve ever made. And in case you were wondering, Levi’s laugh is now one of my most favorite sounds in the world.

Our wedding day

March 25, 2005